Mainly a midwife...or mostly a mom.

Pumpkin Patch action

2011-10-26T13:23:00.000-07:00

I've been working almost every weekend this month and it has put a serious damper on our family fall activities. Whenever I work a night shift I come home on a Sunday morning, sleep for 4 hours, wake up and wish I was going back to bed asap. This past Sunday was no different. My family had other plans. Mark is the one who actually dragged us to the pumpkin patch and I'm so glad he did.

We went to Stanly Lane Pumpkin Patch in Napa. We didn't get there until 4pm or so and it was perfect. Not very crowded (although it's a challenge to take pictures while the sun is setting).

And here is the part of the family who is awake. Addison slept through most of the excursion. And that other little girl? I took 40 pictures of these guys on the hay bale pyramid and she was in every single one of them. So at this point I feel that she's is just part of the family. I've named her Isabelle.

And here she is....still asleep. Even though I wanted to crawl in there with her... I didn't. Wasn't that nice?

The kids posed on every single tractor and I took about a hundred pictures of them. But lucky you.. I'm only posting one. :)

And then she woke up. Sort of. And we had 30 minutes to run around and do everything all over again. She met the stinky pigs, ran around with her big sis and brother and posed for mom's pictures (again).

As we sat at a picnic table and I listened to my family's chatter. I got a little sentimental and teary (as I am prone to whenever I'm post call... I can't help it. I need serious amounts of sleep these days). I love this little family. I'm grateful that they are on loan to me for however long God wants them here. Any time that we spend together is precious....even if it's for a few hours in a muddy pumpkin patch.

Owen

2011-10-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Since Oct 15th was the National Day of Loss Remembrance I've been thinking more about Owen and all the losses many of my friends have had. I try not to go down the path of "what if". I try to stay on the path of what is in front of me. But every now and then I go back and remember. Like today. I'm remembering Owen.

If you don't know about Owen here is a re-post that I wrote a few years ago on Oct 15, 2008.

While catching up on blogs I realized that today was the National Day of Loss Remembrance. And while I have posted about our situation before (here) I have never blogged specifically about Owen.

We found out at our 20 week ultrasound (Jan 2002) that we were having twin boys and that one of them was not going to go home with us. That was Owen. He had anencephaly, which is a structural defect where the neural tube doesn't close all the way. There are varying degrees of anencephaly (just the skull is missing, or most of the brain). In Owen's case he had no skull, brain or brain stem. We knew he would die shortly after birth, but we just didn't know how long. Owen was my firstborn. When he was born I saw him staring at me, almost as if he could see me. I saw him blink his big eyes once and then he didn't do anything else. I just held onto him as his heartbeat slowly faded away. We snuggled him tightly and said goodbye. We cried and cried and cried. We still cry when we talk about him.

He is a part of our lives and we have always talked quite openly with the kids about him. Two years ago, when Riley was 4, he was mentioning Owen quite a lot. He was crying about him, wishing he was here and it was happening almost nightly. I decided that we would have a little memorial/chat about Owen for Riley to say goodbye to Owen. After all, they had shared a tight space for 33 weeks. I retrieved my "Owen" stuff from the top of my closet. I opened up my special remembrance box that has some of Owen's hair (he had some above his forehead) his handprints and footprints. I shared the story of Owen with Riley and Katie. We talked about Owen being up in heaven. I showed them the blue square urn that held Owen's ashes. The urn has a little bear engraved on it.

Riley asked me if he could hug Owen and proceeded to cuddle the little urn and then said the sweetest things to Owen: "I'm sorry that God didn't make your head right and I'm sorry that you have to be in the closet all the time. Sorry you can't come in the car with us."

We all had a good cry that afternoon. I packed away all my Owen stuff and haven't taken it down since. I wrote down all the things that Riley and Katie did and said about Owen. One day I'm sure they would like to know. Today I remember Owen and wish he was here. But I'm so glad Owen has his perfect Heavenly Father. Today I think about all the women who have lost their sweet babies whether through miscarriage,abortion, birth, SIDs or through some other way. Saying goodbye to any child is the hardest thing a mom can go through.

My favorite Crock-Pot soup- Tortilla Soup

2011-10-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Mel at Larson Lingo I'm actually doing a blog post today. Head over there to check out her Crock-tober action.

One of my favorite Crock Pot soups is Tortilla Soup. There are lots of versions of this out there. And I've tried many of them. But I keep going back to this one:

Ingredients:
4 chicken breast halves
1 garlic clove, minced
2 Tbsp butter
2 14.5 oz cans chicken broth
1 14.5 oz cans chopped stewed tomatoes
1 cup salsa
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
1 Tbsp or more ground cumin
8 oz. Monterey Jack cheese,shredded or cubed
sour cream
tortilla chips

Cook, debone and shred chicken. Add minced garlic to butter in slow cooker. Combine all ingredients except cheese, sour cream and chips.
Cover. Cook on low 8-10 hours. Divide cheese among bowls. Ladle soup over cheese. Sprinkle with chips and top each bowl with some sour cream. Bake lots of corn bread muffins and now you have the best wintery dinner ever.

PS This recipe comes from the Fix-it and Forget-it Cookbook: Feasting with your Slow Cooker (page 48). It's my Crock Pot Bible.

Eighteen.

2011-10-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Last month was our 18th wedding anniversary.
Eighteen.
18.
Wow.
It's gone by so very fast. I'm grateful to God for those 18 years. I don't know how long Mark is on loan to me from Him but I'm thankful for each and every day that we have together.
This weekend we had a belated anniversary celebration. And I have to say that after 18 years of marriage we just had another "first". He planned a lovely 12 hour mini weekend getaway surprise. It included a visit to our old pastor that we knew when we got engaged. Then we headed to V. Sattui (one of our old dating hangouts)for some wine tasting and a picnic.

Next stop was a couples mud bath treatment here in Calistoga. Yes. A mud bath. And it really was as disgusting as I thought it would be but at the same time very relaxing. It was like being suspended in jello. Or cement. Or...well, mud. We had clay facials and a body wrap. It was all quite relaxing. I'm still shocked that he planned this for me and did it WITH me. My husband is not into spa anything and still he took the mud plunge with me. We ended our evening with a lovely dinner at SolBar in Calistoga.

Needless to say I'm a happy girl today. It wouldn't have mattered if we had hot dogs in the park. Just the fact that he planned the weekend made the whole experience wonderful.
I have to tell you that I just love this guy. He's a keeper.

Grief and Grace

2011-08-18T15:25:00.000-07:00

I have a dear, dear friend that I first met about six years ago. Our oldest boys were in preschool together. Our girls became BFFs. And then they moved away to be closer to her husband's job. Shortly after their move her husband received a devastating diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma. After a 2 1/2 year battle with the cancer, her husband went home to be with the Lord just five months ago.

My friend is such an encouragement to me. She recently started a blog in order to share some of her journal entries. I thought you might like to read them too.

Aside from being the cutest, most fashionable mom (to four beautiful children) she is the most authentic, transparent Christian that I have ever met and she really shares what's going on in her heart. Prepare to be encouraged (and shed a few tears).

Her blog is called Living in His Sustaining Grace. I've linked you to her first entry. Because sometimes you just need to start at the beginning.

Time to retreat

2011-08-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

While we were in Maine Mark and I got to hide from our children for just a day. It doesn't sound like a long time but it was so lovely and peaceful. My mom arranged for a night away at her friend's home nearby. She must have known how much we needed it. We are NEVER without all three of our children. It was so great to just have lots of uninterrupted conversations with my guy. I like him. I like him a lot. And it was a great reminder of how important my marriage is to me. Marrying Mark was one of the best blessings that God has given to me in my lifetime. I know Mark's on loan to me from God. And I'm so grateful for every day He has given us together on this earth.

The home we stayed in was lovely and overlooked a foggy bay. We spent a lazy morning drinking our favorite hot beverages and tried not to spend all of our time talking about the kids. And that's not easy to do. Sometimes it feels like it's ALL about the kids. But it shouldn't be. This marriage started with us. And sometimes you just need to check out and focus on the "us" part.

Our retreat was peaceful and relaxing.
When there is beauty all around...that's pretty easy to achieve.

What to do in Maine

2011-07-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

Pack a picnic and head out on Route 1. Eventually you will arrive in Searsport. You'll want to go check out all the cute little antique shops but instead go here:

It's fun and (ssshhhh!!!) educational. But don't tell these guys:

They had a great "hands on" children's area where they "catch" a fish, identify it, measure it and learn what the fish would actually weigh in real life. Kids could learn all about lobstering, create art work, make bookmarks and play games.

In another building there was a "hands on" re-created ship galley where they could cook and pretend to be at the helm. And for the record it was totally acceptable for pirates to wear pink nailpolish.

In another area you could learn the difference between ships and more than you ever wanted to know about nautical flags.

We toured a sea captain's home and made clothes pin dolls.This was their sitting room where they would greet guests. I'm thinking that they didn't want their guests to stay too long....that furniture looks uncomfortable!

Head outside and learn how to raise the sails, or lower the jib (or just stand there having no clue about how to sail and just get your picture taken).

And when you are all done at the museum, head north on Route 1 past Bucksport and you will drive by a beautiful, old GIANT barn called (guess what) Big Chicken Barn. They have over 150,000 books and antiques. But don't take no for an answer when you BEG your husband to stop there. You'll regret it. In his defense we did have all three kids with us and they would have hated going there. But I'm still thinking about that place.

Next time I'm in Maine I'm going to go there FIRST!

All by myself.

Down Time in Down East

2011-07-16T19:09:00.000-07:00

I used to think that I grew up in the boonies. It was a very rural area in upstate NY that boasted, at the time, tons of dairy farms. In my teenage brain I thought there was nothing to see and even less to do. I lived in the middle of nowhere, or so I thought, until my parents moved to Maine. Not Freeport where the awesome LL Bean store is but WAY up in Maine. Although they are FAR away from any major airports they live in the most beautiful area. The Maine coastline is trimmed with tall pines and dotted with rocky formations. Their lovely home is a mid 1800s farmhouse built on a granite foundation (granite abounds in Maine).
I talk to my mom a lot on the phone and it somehow makes those 3000 miles seem not-so-far-away. I call her to chat, catch her up on the kid's activities and ask for her meatball recipe (over and over again).

They moved there to start a bed and breakfast. Doesn't this look like a B & B that you would like to stay at?

When we do go and visit, which is not as often as I would like, we try to take advantage of every moment.
Grammy listens as Katie reads the Velveteen Rabbit.

Grandpa Charlie and Riley hung out a lot. Usually they played Battleship.

Aunt Lynne and Uncle Tim arrived the day before we did. They live on our side of the world and we get to see them every now and then. Love you both! xoxo

Sisters!

The day after we arrived my mom made homemade pasta for my birthday. It was nice to celebrate with family. Thanks Mom for making my favorite!

There were a few tears as Aunt Lynne and Uncle Tim said their goodbyes.

The hardest part for me was watching Aunt Lynne say goodbye to her mom (Grammy Jeanne). The reason for Aunt Lynne's visit was that she was moving Grammy Jeanne to my parents home. And while I have pictures of all the goodbyes I won't post them because my Grammy Jeanne was in her bathrobe and she would positively hate that!

Mom and Dad, thank you for such a wonderful visit! We love you! xoxo

Queen Jeanne

2011-07-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

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Last month we headed to Maine for summer vacation.
It started off with a red eye flight from SFO to Boston and then a 5 hour drive to Maine. We heartily recommend this travel plan for all families with three children (not).
The day we arrived was my Gram's 90th birthday.
We celebrated by singing Happy Birthday about 90 times to her (she was a very good sport) and had a lobster boil with all the trimmings.

Gram has a great sense of humor. I've never met anyone like her.
We love you Grammy Jeanne. And we look forward to our next cross country adventure to Maine.

What's grosser than gross? Inquiring minds want to know.

2011-07-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

As I contemplate the future of my blog ( or lack thereof) I started going back to some of my early posts. I got a lot of hits on the following post. It still grosses me out. And makes me laugh.

I'm dogsitting for my neighbors who are in Boston right now. They have two good sized dogs. One of them is a hyper lab who jumps on me and doesn't listen. But I am very comfortable with dogs and can handle them pretty well. We used to have two beautiful Rottweillers (R.I.P).
Anyway, I digress. I put them in the house in their designated bedroom on Monday night around 10pm. Early the next morning I go over to let them outside. I walk in the house and IMMEDIATELY smell dog crap. Oh no. I open their bedroom door and one of them has had horrible diarrhea ALL OVER THE HARDWOOD FLOOR! It's been there for hours. I put the dogs outside and spend the better part of an hour cleaning up this crap. It's everywhere. Poor dog. Poor hardwood floor. It sat there for so long that there are water stains on the floor now. It's disgusting. The whole house smells. I clean, clean and clean some more.
After I'm all done I call my husband (Motorcycle hunk). "What's grosser than gross?" I ask him, thinking that I've got the best story EVER! He says, without missing a beat, "the guy that I saw taking a crap on the sidewalk this morning on my way to work". Oh man. This is a better story than mine. "Did you walk right by him?" I asked. "Oh yea, I was 10 feet away and he had diarrhea, I could hear it" said Motorcycle hunk. "And what's worse is that he was right next to a Port-a-potty".

Um. OK. You win. That really is grosser than gross.
Oh. And I never "babysat" for my neighbor's dogs again. I was pregnant with Addison just a few short months later. Yes.. very convenient. I know.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T12:06:00.001-07:00

DSC_0744, a photo by midwifeliz on Flickr.

2011-04-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on here. I've made many attempts but for some reason (computer illiteracy?) I can't seem to upload my photos the way I want to. And when I successfully paste my links from Flickr all my photos are distorted. It makes me grumpy. So I have to settle for the Blogger upload (which are teeny tiny pictures).

Things are busy. Busier than ever. This is life since I posted last time:
Went to Las Vegas to see my Aunt and Grammy. We chatted, made Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls (the best) and played many, many rounds of Rummy Q (it's a family thing).

Katie has been busy with gymnastics, Daisy scouts and just normal school stuff.

We went on our first Mom/daughter Daisy Scout camping trip.

We said to goodbye to some dear family friends. We miss them a lot.

(That's a really old picture but one of my favorites).

There were two science projects to supervise.

Riley ran his first 5K.

Addison just keeps getting more and more fun each day. I can hardly stand it.

Oh and a little thing called baseball started in February:

Baseball has made us really busy but the coach is kind of cute.

Oh and two little kids I know just had a birthday. This involved a park play date, a birthday sleepover, dinner at the Rainforest Cafe and sadly, some barfing at 11pm for a certain 9 year old (don't order the chicken nuggets).
Throw in a school auction, leopard seal research project, a ruptured ear drum for Addison ( I know.. I feel terrible), a few more sleepovers, the never ending house projects and you have a pretty good idea of how the last four months have looked.

And right around the corner is a piano recital, a visit from my mom (hooray) and my brother is graduating from his MBA program (yay Uncle Chris!!).

And best of all...Easter is almost here. He is Risen!

Two years ago I posted (complained) about the fact that I didn't "do" all the things that I wanted to do with the kids. I'm going to find those Resurrection Eggs right now.

Once there was a Papa Bear..

2011-01-23T20:52:00.001-08:00

DSC_0398
Originally uploaded by midwifeliz

who had 3 little bears. Papa Bear was a lifelong Chicago Bears fan. He tried to convert his 3 little bears into being Chicago Bears fans as well. He bribed them with t-shirts, made their favorite snacks and tried to make Brian Urlacher seem larger than life.
But when it came time to watch the Chicago Bears get stomped by the Packers, Big Brother bear was too disappointed and he left to play Legos with the neighbors. Sister Bear had a playdate over. Only Baby Bear stuck around for the snacks.
And although Papa Bear would like his little bears to be Chicago Cubs fans as well he's not even going to try. Why set them up for lifelong disappointment?

Being Addison...

2011-01-12T21:23:00.000-08:00

...is about knowing how to make the most of your day. And whether that's trying to climb the stairs, steal pens and run with them, wiggle into some tight spots, falling at the gym daycare and getting a huge bump on your head or just sitting quietly and playing with your Little People, it's all about being a busy toddler. A.very.busy.toddler.
A is for Addison.
And A is for active.
Very active.

Whatever you do....

2011-01-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

..whether you are cleaning your dishes for the 1000th time this week,
getting a drink of water for a little person, holding a teething toddler or rewashing clean clothes that you know someone has not worn in 3 months but were tossed in the dirty pile anyway...here is a verse for you.

This verse has popped up on my radar several times this week. I used it to have a discussion with my son earlier in the week and just today I found a piece of paper with my "mission" as a mom on it (that I had written two years ago). And guess what verse was at the bottom of the page? Yes. Colossians 3:23. I got the message. Loud and clear.

What I love about a small town

2010-12-18T10:15:00.000-08:00

Back in October my daughter Katie entered a local contest (Have you heard about Patch?)sponsored by our local Patch. The winner of this contest won a ride to school on a firetruck. Katie was beyond thrilled to hear that she won 1st place for the 1st grade in her elementary school. Little things like this make our small city seem like a cozy little town. The firefighters made it a really big deal for her and her schoolmate.
Here she is after her big arrival at school (with all the bells and whistles).

And what makes this story even better is that we share a little history with the female firefighter in the picture.
One summer afternoon I arranged for a babysitter for my then 18 month old Katie and 3yr old Riley. I escaped the house to meet my friend for lunch downtown. After lunch I arrived home to find a firetruck, ambulance and two police cars parked in the front of my house. My immediate thought was that our Rottweiler, Greta, had bitten someone. I parked my car and got out, and asked what happened as I jogged to my front door. Although my heart was pumping fast on the inside I was calm as I looked around and didn't see a lot of activity in the yard. Everyone was just standing around. I had almost reached the front door when I was intercepted by the female firefighter. She grabbed my shoulders and yelled "MA'AM, STAY CALM". Well...one thing that you should know about me is that I'm totally cool in an emergency. It's just how I'm wired. So while she's shaking me by the shoulders I tell her "I AM CALM... JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?"
She tells me that the babysitter was accidentally locked out of the house (the sliding door latch fell down after she and Riley had gone outside to play) and our sleeping 18 month old (Katie) was still asleep in her toddler bed, alone in the house. The firefighters were trying to get into the house but they were afraid of Greta. So they were in the backyard trying to figure out how to get in without getting bitten by our dog.
The whole crew knows that I've arrived. I unlock my front door and go inside to check on Katie. Just as I get to Katie's door my dining room window gets popped out of place by the firemen and one of them climbed through the window to get into my house (even though they saw me in the hallway).
And little Katie slept through the whole thing until that fireman walked into her bedroom...then she woke up and screamed the walls down.
I still wonder why he felt the need to pop my window out when I was already in my house.

I'm back...

2010-12-14T21:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know. I'm a prodigal blogger. I haven't blogged in 5 months. Addison started walking 5 months ago. Coincidence? I think not.

Addison has been very busy learning how to "pretend".

They are inseparable.

Riley spent a lot of time between August and the beginning of November learning how to play football (#62).

Katie has been learning some new tricks since September.

And me? I'm just trying to take a Christmas picture.

Time of family and firsts

2010-07-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Last month we had a very special visit from my family. We were all so excited that they were here. It was a time of firsts...
Grammy and Grandpa met Addison for the first time:

First Father's Day golf event:

This was the first time all of them had golfed together. Riley hung in there for 17 out of 18 holes...he was busy with a hotdog during one of the holes.. a little guy does have to eat.
Addison ate her first homemade meatballs and homemade pasta courtesy of Grammy.

Katie had her first crochet lesson from Grammy:

The visit was way too short but we tried to squeeze in as much family time as we could.

My cousin Kristi and her family were visiting CA from Louisiana. I was so happy that we got to see them.

And just for the record: that is not my house that has the Christmas lights on it. But.... that is my kid making the weird faces.
Of course the other BIG first we shared was Addison's first birthday which I will post about in a few days.

Catching up...

2010-07-05T22:15:00.000-07:00

This post is basically one big IOU. We've had a family visit (which I've yet to blog about), a certain little baby turned one and we've had some summer fun. I will leave you with this as I contemplate how to catch up on blogging.

Addison had just finished demolishing her birthday cake on her actual birthday and she was a delicious mess. This was her first bath in the kitchen sink.

As you can see she found the "Dip n Sip" quite handy.

Please excuse my walls. That splash of green was one of my test strips (but I'm not going with that shade). My kitchen is next on the remodel list. But it's a LONG, LONG list.

One door closes

2010-06-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

I will spare you the usual apologies for neglecting my blog. I could use my typical excuse that I've.got.two.kids.and.a.baby. But it's really not them. It's always me. Me...being behind on things. Me...being overwhelmed. First it was the end of school, next it was (happily) working on house stuff and now we are getting ready for a family visit (woohoo!).
And while I gladly immerse myself in all this busyness there are things that are circling inside me. Things that are welling up that I can't really even speak out loud. Being busy keeps the emotion at bay, keeps it just at the edge where I don't have to focus on it.
Addison's first birthday is looming ahead. It's a celebration. But it's making me a bit sad too. My baby is slowing becoming a toddler and I'm definitely having a hard time dealing with that. I try to pretend that she's my little baby but that gets hard to do while she is trying to stand up while she's nursing and "beep" my nose.
I'm 40. After 14 years, our pursuit of fertility is done. I won't be having any more children. I'm having a hard time closing that door. But I'm having an even harder time identifying why I'm so sad. Yes, an entire chapter of my life has come to a close. But I feel beyond blessed to have had four children and to be able to bring home 3 of them. I do know my limits. It's not that I want to parent ten children. I don't. But I really do enjoy pregnancy and, I think (yes, I'm weird)to a certain extent I like giving birth. But being a midwife I'm already into birth. I love attending births. It's a tremendous privilege to be in another woman's labor room. I really believe that. And I can't even begin to tell you how very awesome it is to be the first person to lay hands on a beautiful newborn baby. So is it the actual birth that I will miss? Not exactly. I'm fine with never, ever having to stuff ice packs on the nether regions again.
Riley and Owen's birth (if you don't know about Owen click here) pushed me to face my fears. While I carried Owen in my belly I didn't have to deal with his death. I didn't have to say goodbye to him. But once I was done birthing him I had to look him right in the face, hold him , say goodbye and let him go. But their birth also taught me that it was ok to experience the joy with the pain. They can exist simultaneously and it's ok to celebrate when you are grieving.
Katie's birth was all about feeling the pain, working through it, feeling strong and getting it done. My girlfriend, who is also a midwife, was right there with me. She held onto me during the scary parts and reassured me when I worried about the journey. Katie's birth was very empowering. It required strength from me, didn't tolerate excuses and it helped me to start to trust myself.
Addison's birth was similar and absolutely forced me to trust myself and find my own way. I didn't have my midwife friend with me and I didn't think there was any way that I could do it without her.
I walked away with a lot of personal satisfaction from all of my births. They were as empowering to me as boot camp was 20 years ago. Boot camp is a little hard to describe. I think I can best sum up boot camp by saying it was six weeks of physical hell topped off with emotional upheaval. But at the end I was a running machine and THAT was very satisfying.

Marie Beauchemin's book The Sacred Journey of Birth is a meditation on the birth process, however you birth, whether it's with a doctor, midwife, medication or technology. Marie writes: “Suffering is inherent, not to harm, but to pull deep, insist we participate, propel us forward and stretch us into the truth of what is possible” and “You can grapple with it (intensity of birth), fathom what it requires, discover deep within your strength, your nexus, that which will shepherd you through and forever imbue,”

So maybe the suffering, whether through pain or loss, is able to bring me to a new stage of being or a new reality. And while I'm pretty sure that I'm not into pain I certainly can appreciate personal growth, wherever I find it. Although, I have to admit, a part of me wishes I could enjoy my new reality in my former bootcamp body.

Every girl should have a dress

2010-06-01T11:20:00.001-07:00

School is ending, summer is just starting to wind up. I'm beginning to list my summer projects. My projects always include the usual organizing tasks, some painting and other home improvement jobs. But I want this summer to be a little different.
We met Tom Eggum in the early 90's. At that time he'd been a missionary for over 25 years. He really opened our eyes toward the suffering in the world. I joined several medical mission teams, to Russia and Romania, in order to bring supplies and medicine to really sick children. Those were big growth experiences for me where I learned about service and hope. I began the experience by thinking that I was going to serve others and ended up being ministered to by sweet children who had almost nothing in the world but wanted to give me their last precious item. Those interactions with those precious children were a highlight in my life. But I never went on another mission trip. I went to grad school, got a job, had children and never entertained the thought of going on a mission for many years. I'm excited that Tom's organization,Hope 4 Kids International, has a new program that I can help with from right here in my house. They have a new program called Dress a Girl Around the World. All it takes is some minor sewing skills, a pillowcase and a willingness to do it. Since last fall they have distributed nearly 2,000 dresses within the US, Honduras, Haiti, Guatemala, India, the Congo, Malawai, Uganda, Russia and the Baltic.
I can't wait to shop for the prettiest pillowcases I can find.

I think I could do this forever

2010-05-12T22:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just stare at her. And stare at her. And squeeze her cheeks a little. And wipe that little dribble of drool away. I could lie here all day and just watch her sleep. I still sniff her little neck. She still smells like a baby.
Yes I can definitely do this all day or at least until someone yells "MMMMMMaaaaaaa!!!!!!" from the other room.

A year ago I was very pregnant with this baby. We wondered who she was and what she would be like. Sometimes I still can't believe she's here.

Oh..and if you were wondering..her feet still smell babyish too. They haven't gotten that big kid sweaty smell yet. Whew! I'm so glad...because I might cry if she gets any older.

After

2010-05-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I posted a BEFORE picture of some hideous nightstands. Now they have a new life, at least for a while.

Here they are after one coat of primer and one coat of red:

I actually put the second coat of red on today but didn't get a chance to take a picture. Now I need to figure out what to do with them. They will either go in Riley's room as normal nightstands or I might try to make a little reading nook out them.
Any suggestions?

I see a new you.

2010-04-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

I enjoy following blogs that find new purposes for old or no longer used items. There are so many bloggers out there who give new life to someone's old trash. I always like seeing the before and after pictures whether it's a furniture redo or The Biggest Loser. I definitely have a desire to start something like that but I'm not very disciplined about the follow through. Not to mention that I have no energy, time, opportunity, or room in my garage/house to store things.
But, nevertheless, I still do like to go to yard sales and quite often I see things that can be given a mini-overhaul and new life. I buy it. I think about what I'm going to do with it. And then, EVENTUALLY, I do it. That's my favorite part...the "doing":

Our elderly neighbor, Miss Jackie, passed away a few months ago. Her children held an estate sale a few weeks ago where I found these for $1 a piece. These nightstands are nothing special (except they were Miss Jackie's) but I liked the lines. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with them. They sat on my porch for a few weeks and annoyed my postman.

And so..here is my latest "repurpose" project:
Before:

As you can see these are just fairly boring and basic nightstands. But I like the open shelves and I have a plan for them. More tomorrow.

What lies ahead

2010-04-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

Did you or do you ever have a moment with your child when you feel like you just got a glimpse of what is coming your way in a few years? You catch a hint of a certain attitude. It might be a look or the slightest angle of the head. Or perhaps it was something a bit more obvious:

Sometimes that whole attitude can start during the toddler years. Or possibly earlier:

'Tis the season...

2010-04-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

for baseball. Every Saturday we can be found at the baseball field. Addison and I are usually in the stands. Katie is running around with the other latchkey baseball siblings. Riley is on the field or in the dugout. Mark is busy coaching and reminding 7 and 8 year old boys to watch the ball and pay attention lest they get hammered with the baseball.

The kids do their very best to cheer each other on, adjust their cups in front of everyone, pick the wedgies out of their bottoms and keep track of the score in our developmental "we don't keep score" baseball league.

On a serious note...do you see my husband giving the catcher some instructions? Can you tell Mark really likes to do this? I mean.. he really, really likes coaching baseball. He gets all excited on game days and likes to get there about an hour before the game to get ready. Well..actually he likes to be everywhere an hour early, but seriously.. he has had a lifelong love of the game. All of Mark's memories of high school are about baseball practice, his baseball coaches and his games. Guess what his mom used as leverage at home?
A mom just has to have leverage.

Nella

2010-04-21T09:09:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to do my morning run about 30 minutes ago but I sat down, instead, to read a blog. Meet Nella. I just had a morning cry instead of a morning run. But I'm so glad I did. Kelle's words are beautiful, poignant and brave. And the photography is breathtaking. I hope you get to read Nella's story.

This day six years ago...

2010-04-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

I was not supposed to have a baby. This was the one day in April that I was trying to avoid. April 17th. Mark was scheduled for the first day of a review class for his PMP exam. He wasn't supposed to miss any of the classes. And it was Riley's 2nd birthday. Katie Rose had other plans. I think she must have been plotting to make sure her arrival was a really big event.
It was my dream birth. Three hours long. I was in the shower for most of it. My girlfriend/midwife Sylvia was with us and I don't think it would have gone that smoothly without her.
During the pregnancy we opted not to find out what we were having and when Katie was born were beyond excited to find out she was a girl. I felt like I had just been given a very special gift.

Katie is my "go-to" girl. She likes order and giving orders. She's probably going to be some kind of a teacher or maybe a drill sergeant. Katie actually volunteers to help her brother clean his room (it's not reciprocated though). She likes to wear her hair down and keep her guard up. Her outer shell maybe a little tough but she's got a soft, sweet core. Katie still loves being carried by her daddy. And she gushes loving words to her baby sister all the time.

She may look like a tomboy in her jeans with the ripped out knees (which she wears as often as she can) but she likes her toenails painted pink. Her free time is spent reading, drawing, playing with her Barbies and pretending to play school (she's always the teacher). Her favorite part of her room is her desk. Katie likes memorizing her verses for AWANA's.

Katie's got a little competitive streak and lives to outride, outrun her brother and anyone else who cares to race her. She's fond of her biceps and will show them to you if you ask. Katie practices her cart wheels constantly and can't wait until she can do a split. She's been blessed with many friends and she's learning how to be a good friend.

She's our strong, sweet and beautiful girl and we love her so much.
Happy Birthday Katiebug. We love you and we love who you are becoming (ok..except for the bossy talking back but we're working on that, right?).

This day eight years ago...

2010-04-17T08:45:00.001-07:00

...I delivered Riley and Owen about five minutes apart. It's a long story but it truly was both the happiest and saddest day of my life. It was the day that we finally became parents after many, many years. Of course it was also the strangest day of my life because we simultaneously rejoiced over Riley and mourned Owen. I don't recommend sobbing and smiling at the same time..it's actually hard to do and it gives the ugly cry a lot of competition. OK.. I'm kidding around here but the only reason that I can joke about crying is because I got to keep one of my babies. I had to leave half of my heart at the hospital and watch as they carried him out of the room. But I got to bring the other half home.
When I sit back and look at the broader picture of my life I think about how much joy Riley has brought us. He's a happy kid. He enjoys life. He likes meeting people. He's fascinated by coincidences, he loves God, he likes Legos, he's proud to be a big brother to his sisters (on most days). He does feel really ripped off that he doesn't have a brother and doesn't understand why God won't answer his prayers with a "yes"! Riley thinks his dad is the coolest guy ever and would do anything to sit in the front seat of his dad's truck and go anywhere and sing country music songs with him. Riley loves baseball, golf and pretty much all things sports. He has a super soft heart and I pray that it doesn't get broken too often. He wears his Chuck Taylor's every.single.day and he thinks it's cool to wear one blue and and one brown one at the same time. And I let him. Riley loves his family and all of his friends. He feels an instant kinship with everyone he's related to no matter where in the world they live. He's a good friend and prays for his baseball buddies to get "big hits" at their baseball games.
I'm painting a pretty picture here and it's not always like this. But since it's his birthday I think it's ok to forget the bad stuff for today. And let's face it, we all have bad stuff. On some level we are all broken. When we are older we learn maturity and how to function with the broken pieces. But when you are a child you don't always have the sophistication to hide that stuff and you let it all hang out. And that's okay.

Happy Birthday Riley. We love you so much and we are very proud of you and who you are.

And next "This day six years ago.." which I will post as soon as I can stop crying.

A rave review

2010-04-11T19:27:00.001-07:00

The kids received this cookbook from my mom for Christmas. And for several months now I have been meaning to write a quick post about it. Riley and Katie have both been excited to create things from this cookbook. Riley gravitates towards the entrees and Katie is all about the desserts. Tonight she made a triple chocolate cake (it turned out similar to a lava cake). Last week she tried the Flip-Floppin' Grape Ice Cream and the Rootin' Tootin Fruit Salad. The recipes are very easy to follow for them and they really can do it all by themselves.

Riley was very proud of his El Paso Oven Fried Chicken.

Now if only they would be as excited to wash the dishes.

Old friends and date night

2010-04-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had a chance to meet some friends in the city for a rare night out. These guys are old friends of ours. Not old as in ancient, but old as in they knew us before we were married. They are our treasured and dear friends. HE was Mark's roommate in the Air Force. SHE was the one who convinced me one night, many years ago, that Mark was indeed the good guy that I thought he was. HE fetched me aspirin during my wedding when I had a monster headache from smiling constantly. SHE spent time listening to me throughout our infertility process (6 years). And after knowing each other for almost 20 years our conversations are still lively. The stories are retold and memories are challenged. We catch up on the new stuff in our lives and the tradition of our friendship lives on. Of course it doesn't live on as late into the night as it used to but it's still kicking.

And after we enjoyed a lovely dinner with our friends, we said goodbye and promised that we would really, really try not to be 30 minutes late next time. Then Mark and I spent a little time here:

It felt fun and touristy but mostly it was because I was feeling nostalgic that night. When I first moved to CA I spent a lot of time in the city. At that time the Presidio was still open and lots of military folks were around. And it was a tradition to go to the Buena Vista. And you know how I love my traditions.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

From our family to yours.
He is Risen, He is Risen indeed.

Hooray!

2010-03-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

We did it! My girlfriend and I ran a 5K today. It feels great to complete this thing. I accomplished what I wanted which was to run the whole thing without stopping no matter how slow I was!!
So thank you Couch to 5K for helping me to do this. I definitely surprised myself today.

I can now cross off #2 on THE LIST. I'm still going to run the one on May 2nd but my main goal was finishing one race this year..so I'm just ahead of schedule now.

What I did today...

2010-03-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't plan it. It just happened. But since I was over the bridge anyway for a doctor's appointment. I just went for it. This was my day:
Picked up my reserved pre-sale purchase (that I bought back in February and was too lame to drive over and get).

Then butternut squash soup at:

Then tried on some actual grown up clothes here:

And then one final stop to hit the sale rack here: Addison got lucky today!

It was a good 2 hours even though I should have been doing a BUNCH of other things. Luckily those other THINGS were still waiting for me when I got home. They always are.

A simpler time

2010-03-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

Check out my vintage looking picture. Nope, I don't have photoshop to make it look vintage. It just is vintage: Cape May, New Jersey circa 1974 (but my mom will correct me if I'm wrong). All I remember from this beach moment is that a plane flew over pulling a sign that said Jim Croce. I guess it was letting everyone know that he was playing in the area? But the reason that I even remember Jim Croce was because my dad used to play guitar when we were little kids. We used to ask him to play "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown". And the reason we liked it (other than the obvious cool, hip beat) was because we wanted to hear him say "damn". Our parents never, ever swore in front of us and it seemed funny to me to hear my dad say "damn" in that song ("baddest man in the whole damn town"). And maybe it was just me (and I'm pulling my poor brother into this) but I think I remember just dissolving into giggle fits when dad got to the "damn" part. We probably thought we were being sly...or, again, maybe it was just me.

Oh, and I feel the need to point out that contrary to what it seems like in the picture, that red head is my LITTLE brother, Chris. That little boy there would grow up to be a fearless Army paratrooper, a Colorado Buffalo fan, a US Army Major, marry the awesome Aunt Kim, become the super cool Uncle Chris and pretty much light up my kids lives.

It's your choice

2010-03-10T21:59:00.001-08:00

It's either Playdate Gone Wild part 2 or an early Happy St. Patrick's day post.
I'm good with either...

We have a new neighbor...

2010-03-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

And she's WAY more organized than I am. She recently moved into her new place this past week. And I'm very impressed that her remodel is almost done. I like her already. It looks like she Freecycled some spider webs. I love that! If she was hoping to have peace and quiet she came to the wrong neighborhood. She will have to remember that she chose this spot, which is right in front of our house and directly over the entrance to our front door. Check out that pointy beak! I'm wondering which one of my family members will be dive-bombed first.

Snuggies for Seniors

2010-03-01T15:28:00.000-08:00

I read tons of blogs for all different reasons. When I want to laugh I go to Kristina's blog. She's hilarious. And what started out as a fairly benign obsession for Snuggies has turned into a community service project. She's collecting Snuggies for senior citizens who are in nursing homes in her community. Apparently Snuggies are no laughing matter among the elderly population especially those who are wheelchair bound. If my grandmother was in a nursing home (she isn't) and would wear one of those (she wouldn't..at least I don't think she would) I would definitely get her one. But since she isn't I have resigned myself to making sure that someone else's grandmother gets one. Whoever it is I hope they get the leopard spotted one!

The Snuggie drive will continue during the entire month of March.You can read all about Kristina's Snuggie drive HERE!

I think she likes it...

2010-02-27T19:34:00.001-08:00

Eight months

2010-02-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

A few days ago Addison turned 8 months old. It's been eight months of wonder, love and bliss. Eight months of sweetness and snuggling. And, in case you are wondering, it's been eight months since I've had a full night's sleep and I don't even care.
And in case this photo looks familiar, I'm being lazy and I'm posting a pic that my friend Keri took of Addison.
Gosh..you'd think this was my first baby the way I'm gushing about her.
Hopefully I'll have a regular post soon. Here are some random things about my week.

1. Have you ever hugged at stranger at Starbuck's? I did this week.
2. Have you ever cried in public in front of strangers? Yup..that was me this week.
3. Why is it that I can birth 4 children (two of which were completely unmedicated groovy births) and yet I dread a little 25 minute run on my treadmill? What is wrong with me?
4. I had to explain what dating/courtship was to my 5 year old daughter.
5. I also explained it to Addison, the eight month old, but she didn't seem to care.
6. Had to hear that I was a mean mom for the 500th time. Boy, that gets old.
7. I'm starting to think that I might be a mean mom.

Just for fun.. if you leave a comment finish this sentence:

You might be a mean mom IF:

More, more, more

2010-02-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

I take a lot of pictures. I have to take a lot of pictures in order to get the images I want. My little peeps are growing up so fast that I want every image, every special moment and every sweet look to be etched in my heart forever. Things like:

Before I know it these little people will all be gone, or changed, and I won't remember a thing. I wish I could stop time. Or, in the very least, push pause for a while.

Do you Haiku?

2010-02-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

You are a precious
gift from God given to me
and I am happy.

Pardon all the gushy, mushy stuff. We just got back from a wonderful marriage retreat this weekend. My dear friend Becky took Riley and Katie for TWO WHOLE NIGHTS and we brought Addison with us. It was bliss. And I'm so thankful in so many, many ways.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

Oh.my.goodness.

2010-02-11T23:22:00.000-08:00

Addison is absolutely shocked. She has no idea how I'm going to get all the cookies baked, presents finished, do the laundry, pack for 5 people and run my errands.

Not to mention that little 20 minute run I need to do tomorrow morning.

I think I'll go hide.

Bonding time

2010-02-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I was on-call at the hospital Saturday night. Although Mark is more than able to handle things at home Addison still gives him a bit of a hard time since she has issues about sleeping through the night. Starting at 4 months old she began waking up A LOT at night. Whenever I work a night shift it usually gets worse since there is only a bottle waiting for her. And as snugly as Mark is Addison just really wants me. However, they somehow manage to make it through the night together. I suggested Mark might want to put on my nightgown and snuggle Addison so she could "smell" me. He declined. I can't imagine why.
Still..progress was made and when I arrived home I could tell that they had bonded through the night.
When I came home Sunday morning she was thrilled to see me and wanted to nurse immediately. A little while later something happened that she got a little upset about. She twisted around to look for her daddy and put her arms up to go to him. It melted my heart and probably his too. She doesn't get to spend tons of time with him so it's really a good thing whenever they can hang out together.
And when that daddy/daughter time happens he proves that he's an excellent playmate. Her wish is his command:

And yes..Mark went to Purdue and, of course, he was thrilled to root for Drew Brees (Purdue alum) and the Saints this past Sunday. Mark was one happy camper this weekend.

Double the fun

2010-02-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

One recent Friday afternoon I had scheduled back to back fun for the kids. Riley and Katie both had dentist appointments and then we had to hurry to the pediatricians to get their 2nd H1N1 injections (Addison too). Riley and Katie were so upset with me. I thought I was going to have a mutiny on my hands.

Everyone was pretty calm while waiting for the dentist appointment. Incidentally, this book that Katie is reading is wonderful prep for the routine dentist appointments. We read it before every appointment (this time bringing it with us).

Riley is all smiles here. This was before finding out he had a cavity that needed to be filled. That brought on all kinds of anxiety for him.

Katie is my stoic one. Whatever worrisome thing is facing her she likes to just look at it , face it and be done with it. Just like her dad.

Riley is more like me. Riley will worry about something, imagine the worst, angst over it and is pleasantly surprised when everything turns out ok.

No one cried during their injections. Not even Addison. And we all went to Starbuck's to celebrate.

You could say I'm upset...

2010-02-03T20:44:00.001-08:00

I take pictures.
I scrapbook.
It's what I do.
And so imagine my surprise tonight when I discovered that I seem to be missing a chunk of photos from early 2007. Initially I thought..so what? Who cares?
Then I remembered that I had JUST gotten my first digital camera in March of '07.
Agh. And of course I am missing pictures until May of '07. And I seem to recall that I accidentally formatted a memory card that had pictures on it. Which can mean only one thing: that I have NO pictures of Katie's Princess tea birthday party with the gorgeous Disney princess teapot birthday cake that my dear friend made.
And what's worse is that I don't even remember what I did for Riley's party that year. It wasn't Thomas, it wasn't Batman,it wasn't Transformers... ugh. What was it?
I'm sick about this.

On my honor

2010-01-31T14:02:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago Katie said the Girl Scout Promise at her Daisy Scout pinning ceremony. Yes, it's called an investiture ceremony, how did you know that?
I only lasted a few months as a Brownie around 35 years ago. I don't even remember why I stopped going. I had to refresh my memory on the whole Girl Scout Promise thing.
Here it is:

The Girl Scout Promise

On my honor, I will try:
To serve God* and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

While Katie has promised to live by the Girl Scout Law she hasn't actually learned what it is yet. So I'm not entirely sure what law she is currently living by. I'm guessing it's the Martial law since her room looks like a bomb went off in it and the GI JOE's invaded the Barbie's territory again.

The asterisk in the promise is put there by the Girl Scouts, not by me. Here is what the Girl Scouts wants you to know about the asterisk.

" * The word "God" can be interpreted in a number of ways, depending on one's spiritual beliefs. When reciting the Girl Scout Promise, it is okay to replace the word "God" with whatever word your spiritual beliefs dictate."

Hmm... so technically someone could say "I will try to serve no one.." but then what would be the point of being a Scout since it's all mostly community service stuff?

Anyway.. Here she is in her little Daisy Scout tunic at her pinning ceremony.
She said her promise and got her pin. And she was a happy little Daisy.

And many, many thanks to those of you who have bought Girl Scout cookies from Katie!! I can't wait for those Thin Mints to get in. It's become a tradition: I sit on the couch on Tuesday nights and eat thin mints while watching Biggest Loser. And then I get to feel like a loser. See how that works?

James 1:27

2010-01-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

I just have to share this with you. I think I'm supposed to read this book. I first heard about it two months ago. And since then I keep seeing it, running into it and ignoring it. And then Haiti happened. I don't want to read this book. Honestly, I'm afraid to read it. However, I keep thinking about all those babies. There may be 1 million children that lost at least one parent. How many lost both parents? Thousands perhaps? Tens of thousands?

I am teary just thinking about all those little ones. Disasters happen all the time but I've just never felt that compelled to action by them before.
Agh. I'm heading to Amazon next.

Saturday morning...

2010-01-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

Are you ever served tea or coffee in bed? I have a girlfriend whose husband makes the coffee and brings her a cup EVERY morning!!
Wouldn't it be nice? In our house the weekends would be the only time that anyone is actually in bed past 6:30am. And even then.. I think a cup of tea in my bed would be a bit precarious.
Here is our typical Saturday morning in my bed.

Do you remember what it was like to have a leisurely Saturday morning? Sleep in and read the paper? I barely remember what that was like. That's ok.
I wouldn't trade this for anything. Not for a cup of tea nor all the tea in China.

My newbie

2010-01-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

We had an impromptu cropfest here tonight. I actually accomplished one thing (#16) on my list. Katie started her first scrapbook. I am thrilled that she wanted to as I am a HUGE scrapbook fan. I have dreams of she and I going to scrapbook retreats together!! I know..it probably won't happen. Scrapbooks will probably all be digital by then. But for now.. I love this:

I loved seeing her create her layout and she was insistent on having titles boxes for her pages.

And I love that Addison is the first thing that she wanted to scrapbook. Her birth was such a big event in Katie's little 5 year old life. It warms my heart to know that Katie chose scrapbooking Addison over the Disneyland trip we just took. Sorry Princesses, adorable little babies rule!

To infinity and beyond...

2010-01-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

I don't usually make any resolutions. But this year is different. I turned 40 in June. And, I think, because of that I've really been taking stock of where I'm at, who I am and what kind of kids I'm raising. I was recently reminded of a saying that goes like this: A goal without a plan is only a dream. Or another take on that is "a dream without a plan is only a wish". I don't know who said either of them but they both really resonate with me. I've been giving a lot of thought to my list. Some of these goals are for the year but some of them are just life goals:

1. Exercise regularly.
2. Run a 5K on May 2nd 2010.
3. After I finish the 5k start training for a 10K.
4. Recruit my friends to do the 10K with me (you know who you are!).
5. Keep my weekly Sunday financial "date" with Mark.
6. Schedule 2 actual dates per month with Mark.
7. Pick out carpet for the upstairs.
8. Do at least one Beth Moore Bible study this year.
9. Take more pictures.
10.Produce at least one scrapbook album this year.
11.Take my family camping at least twice this summer.
12.Eat more vegetables.
13.Try out new recipes from the 50+ collection of cookbooks that I have.
14.Get rid of some of the 50+ cookbooks.
15.Sew more scarves.
16.Scrapbook with Katie.
17.Arrange for more one-on-one time with each of my children.
18.Take Mark to IKEA for a date night ( I love IKEA).
19.Get my Earthquake kit ready (I'm so lame..I've lived here 19 years and it's still not done).
20. Listen more.
21. Talk less.
22. Spend less time on Facebook.
23. Print out my 2009 blog into some kind of book format (that might count for #10)
24. Drink more water
25. Drink less soda, diet or otherwise
26. Take a golf lesson.
27. Play at least 9 holes of golf with Mark.
28. Take some kind of dance lesson (salsa anyone?) with Mark. He'll go if I do #26.
29. Spend more time telling my husband about how great he is and why (esp. if #28 happens).
30. Same goes for my kids.
31. Spend as much time as I can holding Addison.
32. Memorize more Scripture.
33. Be more intentional about maintaining relationships.
34. Finish our remodel (at least as far as the city permit is concerned).
35. Go to a marriage conference with my hubby.
36. Go to some type of scrapbook retreat.
37. Plan two letterboxing days for my family this year.
38. Plan some type of lunch/shopping day in the city during the Christmas season.
39. Knit SOMETHING this year (and finish it).
40. Entertain more in my home.
41. Get rid of things that I don't need.
42. Volunteer for community projects as a family at least four times this year.
43. Spend more time with friends who are on the same path as I am.
44. Take Katie shopping, just the two of us, at least 4 times this year.
45. Try saying yes more to my kids.
46. Practice patience.
47. Stop yelling in the morning because it's not helping us get into the car any earlier.

Well..that's my big exciting list. All pretty doable I think. Actually, #34 and #39 are fairly daunting to me but I'm sure I can make it happen.

Katie's contraption

2010-01-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Necessity is the mother of invention, or in our house, it's at least the sister.
Quite often Katie has "play with Addison" duty. And since Addison can sit up with assistance Katie is more than happy to help her. But she has a hard time propping Addison up sometimes. Katie came up with a quick fix for that.

Introducing the "Addison harness".

I'm sure they will be coming to a store near you soon.

Playdate gone wild.

2010-01-07T21:53:00.001-08:00

Disclaimer: No babies were harmed during this playdate, rather, they were only mildly irritated.

It's a stage...

2010-01-06T03:00:00.000-08:00

and this is where we are at right now. Addison is mouthing everything. It's so fun to watch her trying to grab at something. Sometimes she's so desperate to put it in her mouth in order to examine it further. I've tried to capture that in pictures but just can't...

I want to remember every single sweet moment.

Ohh...sweet child of mine.

2010-01-05T15:31:00.000-08:00

On New Year's my brother and his wife came over and we had our "second" Christmas with them. Katie suddenly put a scarf around her head and started dancing.
I just have to say (for the record) that Katie doesn't know what 80's music even sounds like:

She doesn't know that Guns n Roses is (was?) a band:

And she certainly doesn't know who Axl Rose is:

And yet?

I love my job

2010-01-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

If you are a regular reader you have probably wondered (if you don't know me personally) why my blog is named Mainly a midwife when I hardly EVER post anything about birth these days. (Oh, and do you think I should change my blog name?)
Anyway.. there is a reason that I hardly post about birth.
I'm a per diem midwife and that means that I only work periodically. Translate: hardly ever. I do have to be available to the hospital for 6 shifts per month but I only get scheduled one(or two if I'm lucky) per month. I'm only available on the weekends because that is when Mark can be home with the kids.
And when you had a baby just six months ago that means you are off of the schedule for months and months. I was due to go back at the end of September (and was available to do so) but I didn't get a shift until the end of October. And if you can imagine this... I didn't work any shifts for November or December. Someone did need an emergency fill in for a day shift on Christmas Eve but I couldn't volunteer because Mark was working.
OK..what the heck is the point of this post anyway?
Well I just got back from a day shift (I LOVE day shifts. Day shifts are awesome).
Even though I am happy to be stay at home mom (which, let's face it, really is a full time, unpaid, and currently thankless job that I would not trade for anything) there is a large part of me that loves to go to my other job which is completely fun AND I get paid (woohoo).
When I work a dayshift (and sometimes on particularly redeeming night shift) I come home completely energized. I feel grateful and satisfied that I have safely delivered my patients (or at least tried to....I left 3 undelivered ones there tonight but we all tried our hardest to get them into labor). I'm pleased that I completed all my charting and tied up all the loose ends. In other words, it's like walking out the door with EVERY SINGLE TO DO ITEM CHECKED OFF. I love that feeling.
Why doesn't the Motherhood/Housewife stuff ever feel that way to me? How can I get that same productive feeling from the mommy job? I do love being a mom but I'm fairly awful at the rest of it.
At the end of a long day of childcare and household duties I never feel energized. I feel exhausted (ok..and truthfully that's how I feel after a night shift at the hospital but I blame that on the whole night shift bit...no one really should be up at 3am, I mean, is it really necessary?)
Today there are 4 more precious babies in the world. And I am happy to say that I was the first person to touch their beautiful new skin. And yes Katie, they were a little bloody and no, I don't know all of their names. And even if I did I can't say because of that pesky little thing called HIPPA compliance.
And so the final score is: 2 boys, 2 girls and 4 ice packs.

Where's my Calgon?

2009-12-29T16:22:00.000-08:00

Something REALLY big happened here today. It's almost embarrassing to admit this but we now have a tub fully installed upstairs in the new master bathroom. I probably shouldn't tell you that I bought the tub two years ago. I know, it's pathetic. But still... I now have a new FULLY FUNCTIONING soak tub. I estimate that I'll be able to have a nice long soak in about 5 years. I'm jotting it in my date book right now. And I fully anticipate that there will be hanging, functioning doors to the bathroom by then.
In the meantime, here's a peek at my new tub in my 80% done master bathroom.

Oh goody..something else to polish!

Now here is my 50% done master bedroom:

And believe me, this post is in NO WAY a slam against my very hardworking hubby/finish carpenter. He's a very busy guy. There's that pesky (thank God) full time job of his, the commute, Little League responsibilities, church, children to parent and of course....
there is that cute little baby that needs holdin'.

It's a wonder that we get anything done around here at all.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

2009-12-25T23:41:00.000-08:00

I'm still here...

2009-12-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me today that some of my blog buddies (like Jennifer) or my mother,who both live far away from me, might think that I fell off the planet. I am still here. I'm just starting to crawl out of the Christmas prep void that I created for myself. Like you, I've been a little busy. Here is a little sample of what has kept me busy for the last two days: Back in November Julie at Joys Hope posted a great tutorial on how to sew some cute scarves. But what caught my attention was how she posted it. I felt like she was talking to me. She said something like "hey girl, yea you... you with the sewing machine sitting in the closet...no need to be afraid of it. Come make this scarf with me." OK..she didn't say that exactly (she said this). But still..it caught my attention and I thought I would give it a try. I haven't sewn anything in YEARS and I've never sewn anything without my mother (or the 7th grade home ec teacher) peering over my shoulder and answering all of my helpless questions.

Here is one of the final products. This is the cozy scarf. The back side of this scarf is soft white flannel.
I needed a model in order to take pictures of it so I found the cheapest, waif-like girl that I could find. She didn't charge too much so we struck a deal and she struck a pose.

I just love this group of fabrics. I think it's called Figgy Pudding by Moda. Love it. Got it on Etsy.

Going in for a close up. Notice waif-child's hand. She took this modeling assignment very seriously.

But still..they are awfully cute. I need to get started on the next batch of scarves. The waif-child requested a pink scarf as payment and I'd better pay up.

La mia famiglia

2009-11-30T11:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted a little bit about our road trip to Las Vegas. As soon as we arrived at my Aunt Lynne's house Addison went into the arms of our Grammy.

Addison had a lot of "firsts" on this trip. She met her Great-Uncle Dave, Great-Aunt Nichol and my cousin Jason.
This is cousin Jason:

Jason is a super nice guy who started his own company. His company has placed inkjet cartridge refill stations in Costco. There was a coupon in the latest Costco mailer (mine came today). Go check it out! Oh..and by the way, Jason is single.
Addison also learned how to roll from her tummy to her back. She can now constantly roll in one direction. At one point we found her stuck at the front door!

Aunt Lynne has a sweet tradition with the little children in the family. Periodically she will look at the clock and ask "what time is it?". And that's when my kids (usually Katie is in the lead) will go running over because the answer is that it's time for a kiss.

My kids had a great time. They got to open presents:

There were cool pets to play with:

And they were taken to some really fun places. Riley is still talking about his trip to the top of the Stratosphere.

And I haven't even mentioned the food.
Aunt Lynne only stopped cooking in order to hold babies or kiss children.

Uncle Tim carved Tom Turkey and did tons of dishes:

Uncle Dave was the mashed potato man:

Aunt Nichol and I were the potato peelers/cutters:

Thank you Aunt Lynne and Uncle Tim for opening up your home to so many of us and cooking and cooking and cooking. We had a special time with you and we were so happy to be with family at Thanksgiving. Love you!

Definitely with children

2009-11-29T03:39:00.000-08:00

In America there are two classes of travel - first class and with children.
(Robert Benchley).

Last Tuesday we left for a little road trip to Las Vegas to visit relatives. The road trip was long, the kids were good, the visit was wonderful and our Thanksgiving holiday was terrific and so worth the drive.

We packed my little Volvo wagon to the hilt and took off around 9pm. I was thinking that if we left at night my kids would sleep the whole way (just like on a red eye flight). We would drive an easy 4 hours, spend the night and do the rest of the trip in the morning.

Um. Not so fast. Who knew that a four hour trip could take six and a half hours? But it actually felt longer when Addison woke up hungry (translate screaming) and all we could do was listen to her for an hour while we were cruising along at about 10 miles per hour in tons of traffic with no place to pull off!
Note to self: try checking the traffic report before you leave on a big trip like that.
So there we are on the road. We arrive in Bakersfield at 0330 (Another note to self: Liz, do NOT leave so late next time). Sleep until 0730 (when our kids wake us up, aren't they tired???) and start the process over. We only have 4 more hours to go. The scenery changes and we start the elevation climb.
Eventually the kids do nap and the miles pass by a little faster.

We cruise by Caliente, Tehachapi, Mohave and Boron. I wonder who lives in all these little desert towns. We pass Edwards Air Force Base. I remember my 5 years in the Air Force and realize that I would be a Major now if I had stayed in the military. My life would be completely different. I think that being stationed at Edwards AFB would be too boring for me. It's literally in the middle of nowhere. Outside my window the desert landscape changes a little and we start to see tons of Joshua trees. I think of U2. I want Mark to stop the car so I can jump out and get a really close picture of a joshua tree with the sun setting in the background. But I don't ask because I want us to just get to Las Vegas already.
We hit Barstow and now I start to get excited. We only have 2 more hours to go. The kids are excited. We drive over a peak and we can start to see Nevada.

We are almost to Las Vegas. Very soon we will be with la mia famiglia.

Note to self

2009-11-23T21:08:00.000-08:00

I'm a list maker. I rely on household lists because I have a horrible memory and I have to confess that home management does not come easy to me. In fact, I'm horrible at it. There are days where I wish that I could go to work more just because I'm so organized there. It's so much easier to prioritize while I'm at work and I'll give you an example. Who needs to be assessed first? In labor room one we have a woman who came in grunting and groaning. In triage I have "my baby has had the hiccups for an hour" patient. See? It's easy. It's a no brainer. I have to hustle to room 1 before she has her baby without me. I can ignore "my baby has had the hiccups for an hour" until after my delivery is done. At home the prioritizing is so much more vague to me. Do I grocery shop or clean the bathroom? Do I sit with them while they practice piano or do I work on dinner? It always seems to me that the answer to all of the home questions is YES. I have to do it all and it all needs to be done right away. That's why I find it all so confusing.
But it seems that Katie will not have to suffer my same affliction. I think she's one of those "born organized" gals.
She has a bunch of post-its notes stuck to her desk. They are her "calendar" of upcoming events.
Here is her first one:

So Ava..wherever you are. Katie is looking forward to seeing you. And she won't forget to show up. She's got you in the calendar.

Blue funk

2009-11-17T21:34:00.000-08:00

You might just want to keep clicking and move onto another blog. This is your fair warning, okay? I'm a little bummed out tonight. I get this way every now and then. Whenever I have read too much of the news I feel a little despondent over the pure evil exhibited by humans.
I generally avoid the news. And whenever I actually read it I always happen upon a story like this tragic one. Mark and I have been following that story and have been bothered ever since. Here's the condensed version: some dude (who has already served time for killing a 3 year old boy years ago) may have lured his latest victim with promises to see her baby. She's dead. And her sweet baby is missing.
After I read it I immediately went in to go see my little Addison sleeping so peacefully in my bed (sshhh! don't tell my pediatrician). How anyone can harm a baby or a child just has to be possessed. Don't you think?
Why does the news never report anything positive?
Slightly off topic: I'm really into medical blogs ( I love reading gory stuff). Tonight I went to Danielle's blog and found a nice little pick me up. Although her post is a little sad (she's a pediatric resident) it has a heart warming tone (all the heart warming is done by her). Why can't that be the headline? "Dedicated Pediatrician takes time out of her busy night to go hold a lonely patient".
I'm sure that kind of news just doesn't sell.

What Grandmas do...

2009-11-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

Mark's parents left this morning. Goodbyes were said last night as the grandparents left for their hotel. Riley sobbed hysterically. He's very close with his grandfather and already misses him a ton. The kids had a wonderful visit with their grandparents. Here is a little of what Grandmas do:

Grandmas can hang out and watch TV with you:

They admire homework:

They give sewing lessons...

and make sleeping bags and pillows for Barbies and GI Joe's (Jennifer, it really is like Army wives over here):

Grandmas get taken to tea:

and they look through scrapbooks over and over again

and pretend that they've never seen those pictures before.

A big first

2009-11-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

As parents we had a big "first" yesterday. Riley and Katie both performed in their very first piano recital. They've only been taking lessons since September and their pieces were VERY short. But the fact that Katie walked right up there (without needing any handholding) was a major success. The recital was in a beautiful church in our town. The church is a historical landmark in California. I've never been inside before but it was built in the Gothic style in the mid 1850's. The inside of this church felt like a mini cathedral. The layout was similar to a cross and the acoustics were great. The grand piano was situated in the middle of the cross, so to speak.
Katie and Riley didn't seem nervous at all. And the biggest achievement may have been Katie's ability to keep both clippies in her hair the entire time.

Once Katie realized that she was first in the recital line-up she got a little quieter.

I wish I had gotten a picture of Riley when he was all done. He was all smiles.
They both did well and we are so proud of them!

And as Mark said to me last night, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" will always have a special meaning to us.

Who needs a Snuggie when you have a sister?

2009-11-13T05:50:00.000-08:00

Katie is on Addison like (as I've heard the saying) "white on rice". They are rarely apart. I hope Addison always adores Katie and vice versa. And in other breaking news...our sweet baby is rolling over from her back to her tummy. And the Snuggie bit is all due to Kristina P who introduced me to the myriad of benefits of the Snuggie.

I'm looking forward to tonight: date night with Mark while the grandparents babysit. Free babysitting. Wow. It boggles the mind.

GI JOE: Fighting man from head to toe....again.

2009-11-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

As a testament to my husband's ability to always take care of his toys his parents brought along Mark's old set of GI Joe dolls, or were they action figures? Whatever. They brought the entire set to pass along to Riley. These GI Joe's are 40 years old and look great for their age. I think Mark was happy to see these guys again too.

BTW. Did you see that Mark shaved his beard? He did it for me! I'm so happy.
Talk about looking great for his age.. I'm a lucky girl.

Pleased to meet you

2009-11-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that I've been a little absent lately. Mark's parents arrived last Thursday for a 10 day visit. The kids have been beyond excited. We live far away from both sets of grandparents. And, until last week, neither set had met Addison. The kids have been counting the weeks, days, hours and minutes until Grandma and Grandad arrived. And when you are a special visitor...bedtime doesn't really matter.

Now if only we could have the other set of grandparents arrive (you know who you are)!

Roger that, sickie!

2009-11-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday our plans to go to the park were altered when the school called with news of Riley having an upset stomach. He was all smiles when I picked him up so, initially, I was a little suspicious. All that changed with a nice little fever and some barfing in the shower (which is SO convenient to clean up).
In our house being sick means royal treatment. When I was little I didn't get sick that often but I do remember one time when I was recovering from an appendectomy I pretty much got everything I asked for (surgery really is one of the biggest trump cards). I got to laze in bed, sip ginger ale and watch whatever I wanted on TV, which, granted, was not that big of a deal since we only got 3 channels, but still..it was fun for me.

Riley has enjoyed playing that sick card.

There was ginger ale, a portable DVD player, crackers (ordinarily never EVER to be eaten in the bedrooms) AND the best of all.. a walkie talkie. He is loving that thing. He pages me for information (how am I feeling? who was on the phone?), drink refills, new DVD selections and also to tell me how much he loves me. Aww..

This little thing is starting to bug me though...

Clearly he must be feeling better and getting a little bored. He's paged me no less than 50 times today. Sounds like it's back to school tomorrow.

Chalk talk

2009-11-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

Since August we've been regulars at this park. My kids get to see their friends, chase them and be chased. I get to see my friends and yell at my kids to stop throwing sand. We were there on Tuesdays after piano practice and Mondays and Wednesdays during soccer practice. And now..there's no more soccer practice and with the time change it's too late to go after piano practice. We are headed there today with our gigantic box of chalk. Did you know that a gigantic box of chalk is an awesome park "icebreaker"?

Pardon the interruption

2009-11-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

It's a great morning. The kids are eating a hot breakfast. We are more than on time. We will be EARLY for school. Johnny Cash and Elvis seem to be taking turns on Pandora this morning. There is happy chatter all around. Addison is busy doing her own thing as well.

I apologize but I need to interrrupt this regularly scheduled program for a diaper change.

And a good day to you too!

I really was a scarey mommy!

2009-10-31T16:11:00.000-07:00

Although the contest is over I could have won a Scarey Mommy award last night.
Introducing: Octomom

and yes...there really are eight babies in there.
Mark went as Dr House from, well, the show called House.

PS: I linked to Scarey Mommy's blog above because SHE linked to my Scarey Mommy contest post. If you click onto the link my post is listed under "heartfelt". Even though I didn't win I was excited that she linked to my post. Thanks for the blog love Scarey Mommy!

A little bit of childhood

2009-10-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some children we found last week. We think they are cousins. They're either cousins or they are the Flying Wallendas.

They were getting some serious height on their jumps. I love seeing joy in their smiles. I love big belly laughs too.
Why are children in such a hurry to grow up, to be bigger? When I was little it was my lifelong goal to finally celebrate a birthday that had double digits. We try to explain why it's so much fun to be a kid. Maybe it's just their "developmental goal" to want to be more mature. Ugh. I wish I could be a kid again.
In other news, our cool October nights have finally arrived. This night on the trampoline may have been our last warm evening. Goodbye summer. Hello hot chocolate.

All because of Paula

2009-10-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

Do you know how sometimes you have a plan but then one thing leads to another which leads to another and some how things end up much differently than you thought?

Initially I was thinking oatmeal cookies. And so I bought a box of Silver Palate oatmeal. Then I was flipping through a current issue of Cooking with Paula Deen magazine (you know how that is) when I saw a recipe for Yummy Yogurt Breakfast Banana Splits (made with granola). Hmm..that sounds like something the kids would eat. Katie loves vanilla yogurt with Honey Nut Cheerios. Actually, she more than loves that..it's all she will eat in the morning. And then I saw the back of the Silver Palate box: it had a recipe called:Outrageous Granola Recipe.
Cancel the oatmeal cookies. We're making granola.

Here's the granola recipe:
Mix the following: 3 cups uncooked oatmeal, 1 cup of chopped almonds, pecans or other nuts, 1 cup, or any combination of dried fruit (I used cherries, apricots and raisins because that's what I had in the pantry), 1 Tablespoon vanilla, 1 Tablespoon cinnamon, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/3 cup packed brown sugar, 1 cup pure maple syrup.
After mixing, transfer onto a large baking sheet sprayed with non-stick, butter flavored spray. Bake at 325 for 35-46 mins (stirring once halfway through cooking time). Allow to cool completely on tray. Store in airtight jars or containers.

Here's Paula's recipe for the Yummy Yogurt Breakfast Banana Splits:
In a bowl place sliced bananas. Spoon 1 cup yogurt over banana. Top with strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. Top with 1/2 cup granola. Drizzle with some honey. I cut the portion sizes in half for the kids and it was a big hit. Not as big as oatmeal cookies would have been but it still received a very warm reception.

And how was YOUR day?

2009-10-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

I had a 4 month well baby check today. I'm a slim 16 1/2 lbs. My doctor said I was undernourished (not) and I had to have 4 shots and some yucky rotavirus stuff shoved into my mouth. I've had better days than today. But I'm putting on my happy face.

How Motherhood has changed me

2009-10-23T00:43:00.001-07:00

Mama Kat's Losin It has a Writer's Workshop going on..so go over there and check it out. There were a few categories to choose from and my entry is about how motherhood has changed me.

How has Motherhood changed me? Let me count the ways. Humor me as I digress a little. I spent most of my twenties pursuing fertility. Practically everyone I met was having babies. And I wasn't. I didn't know if I would ever become a mother. Those six years were a depressing and dark time for me. It wasn't just hard to go to all those baby showers, it was hard to go to WORK as I was a labor and delivery nurse and then I was in graduate school for midwifery. I was genuinely happy for all those mamas but I was so sad for me, for us. For six years it seemed as though Motherhood would elude me. We started trying to conceive in 1996. Now, thirteen years and four children later, I think of that twenty-something former shadow of myself and imagine if I could somehow prepare her for all the motherhood moments that were to come. What would I say to her?

Initially I would urge her to save her pennies sooner because she was going to sink a ton of money into the reproductive science industry. I would tell her to get ready to have the shock of your life when your husband calls you while you are out to lunch with your girlfriend and tells you that you are pregnant and probably having twins (I just couldn't bear to talk to the doctor myself. I had him call my husband). I would tell that young woman (who used to be a labor and delivery nurse and would try to avoid getting assigned to the fetal demise patients) to buck up, get in there and cry with her patient who just delivered a dead baby. Because little did you know that you would deliver your twins prematurely but only bring one home. One day soon you would be that mama clutching your baby's lifeless body and trying to figure out how to say goodbye to him and not wanting him to be carted off to the hospital morgue where no one would hold him. I would also tell her that the grief wouldn't end there. Once you become a mom you have no idea of all the things that can hurt or touch your children. You worry about things that may not ever happen and you pray that they won't.

I would also tell my younger self that,yes, she was happy traveling around the world but she wouldn't know true joy in its purest form until she brought home her first child, a perfect premie named Riley. Even then she wondered how she could love another baby just as much and then she had a daughter and then another daughter. That young woman had no idea what was coming. Motherhood was so far beyond her grasp at that time. Her idea of motherhood was beautiful pregnancies with fun Gap maternity clothes and easy births. She had no idea that the real mothering starts when you bring that baby home. And even then you have no idea what's coming until your baby isn't a baby anymore and he's a 7 year old and he's angry with you. He's so angry with you that he shouts "you're a mean mommy" and stomps off into his room. And a little piece of your heart cracks just a little. But then your heart cracks even more when you are snuggling with your precious one and they tell you how sad that they feel that they don't have a close friend in their grade and that other kids make fun of them.

Accomplishments would be different after motherhood. The younger me was thrilled to be in an academic setting and loved everything associated with work. Now I just beam when my son says "mom that spinach salad is so good that I can't stay away from it", now THAT is an accomplishment. Oh, and as far as work is concerned I would reassure that younger me that it really is for the best that she gave up her full time job in order to raise her kids. Everything turned out fine. No you couldn't always buy that Lancome make-up you wanted or those cute jeans but you were there almost every time your babies were sick and they needed you.

I would tell that younger me to squeeze in all the date nights in the city that you can because once you become a mother you'll realize that babysitters are expensive and your new vision for a perfect night is getting the kids into bed early and having some down time with the sexiest man alive. Oh yea.. I remember that you thought that Mark was the most perfect guy in the world. But just wait until he becomes a daddy. Trust me when I say that he will bring a whole new meaning to the word sexy. But that's Fatherhood and that's off topic and that's another post for another day.

That former me used to cry all the time at sad movies. Now I have no time to watch movies but I cry when I read Love you Forever to my son. Seriously, I cry EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I would tell that young girl that the elements of her life would be the same but the definitions change (like great dinner conversations and fabulous vacations).
Yes motherhood has changed me. Motherhood changed my selfishness into sacrifice. It's not a martyrdom type of sacrifice but rather, a sacrifice of love. It's like a love offering to my family. Does that mean I'm not selfish? I am still selfish but motherhood is a type of a refining process. And I'm sure it takes years and years to get it right.

My name is Liz and I'm a Scary Mommy

2009-10-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read it right. My name is Liz and I am a scary mommy. Here is my submission for the "Are you a Scary Mommy" post. The alternate title to this post is "Things that I never imagined I would do as a mom". Seven years ago I had my first child and thought to myself "I've got this covered. I'm together and I can do this." Those were apparently the acid years when I felt that mothering was easy and I freely gave other people advice on having children/raising babies (I'm so sorry). When I birthed my 2nd child I immediately knew that I would need some adjustment time. That 2nd child was a completely different creature and my methods weren't working on her. I got a lot quieter in my opinions. Now that I have had my 3rd (and last baby) I fully realize that I don't know what the heck I'm doing and I am just battening down the hatches and going into survival mode.

I am a Scary Mommy and here is why:
1)My children have been known to go without a bath for almost 5 days (I have to qualify that and say that it happened during the summer).

2)I encourage my children to be brave and just take care of that spider (when in fact I don't really want to smoosh it myself but I don't let them know that).

3)I am the reason that my 7 year old son still can't tie his own shoes. We have reviewed it, gone over it and practiced it but every morning when we are trying to rush out the door I don't have the patience to wait for him to do it himself (like ten minutes) and I end up doing it for him.

4)I get upset with my daughter because she won't keep a barrette or ponytail holder in her hair. Once again, I'm the reason that she does nothing with her hair. All I do with mine is brush it and pull it back in a ponytail.

5)When my kids are in trouble I tend to take away the things that I don't want to do anyway (like a playdate or going to a park)

6)I make my kids get rid of some of their toys when, in fact, I have a hard time parting with some of my own things.

I really could go on and on with this list. Are you beginning to see the pattern here? My lists oozes with my hypocrisy. I want my children to do what I say and not what I do. I once heard a very successful homeschooling mother of 12 say "you need to be what you want your children to become". And therein lies the rub.
It's within my personality to constantly find fault with myself. My husband is always telling me "you don't need to be sorry". But as Theodore Roosevelt said "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble you wouldn't sit for a week".
Therefore I am a scary mommy and it's my own fault.

What's REALLY grosser than gross?

2009-10-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

If you are easily grossed out please don't read any further. Just walk away. I don't want to hear that you weren't properly warned. Step away from the keyboard.

OK.. now onto the gross stuff. One of my earliest posts was titled "What's grosser than gross?" I now have a post to top that one.

I'm on a midwifery yahoo group and just received an email recently about a new technique called Placenta Encapsulation that is now available.
(I have highlighted some points that really caught my eye). Read all about it (my comments are at the end):

Placenta Encapsulation
Post Partum Healing for Both Mother and Child
Beat the Baby Blues and build your baby’s immunity at the same time!!
Traditional Chinese Medicine has used placenta (Ze He Che) for thousands
of years to augment the body’s “Qi” (life-force energy), and nourish body’s
“Essence”. Basically, it brings the body back into balance, replenishing what
was lost during childbirth, and boosts both mom and baby’s systems for
years to come.
Dehydrated placenta is extremely nutrient rich and helps replenish the
body, restoring and rebalancing hormones after labor and delivery. Experts
agree that the placenta retains hormones, and thus reintroducing them to
your system may ease hormonal fluctuations making it perfectly made for
you, by you. Both you and your child can continue to take the capsules for
years to come any time your overall wellness is low. This is the greatest
medicine!
In addition, it is high in vitamins and minerals such as iron, protein, and
vitamin B6. Almost every mammal ingests their own placenta after the birth, sometimes even ignoring the young until the placenta has been completely ingested.
Encapsulating your placenta is not only the easiest (and most tasteless) way to consume this powerful medicine, but to preserve it for
future uses as well.
Benefits of Encapsulation for Mom and Baby
Balancing Hormones Increase both baby’s and your immunity
Enhance Milk Production Shorten Postnatal Bleeding Time
Combat Fatigue Increase your energy
Increase Postnatal Iron levels Smooth out your emotions
*In addition, freezing capsules for future use can benefit both Mother and
Child:
Weaning from breastfeeding Healing Broken Bones or Trauma
General Fatigue Regulate hormones during menopause
Debilitating Chronic Disease Bouts of depression or anxiety
Life Transitions such as first day of school, or other stages in your child’s
development where separation from “mommy” may be difficult

Preparation Process:
Your placenta will be prepared, dehydrated, and encapsulated adhering to
the strictest standards of safety as set forth by OSHA and the EPA, and
conforming to local health department guidelines for food preparation and
safety protocols. The preparation process is always done in a sterile
environment, using sterile equipment. It is recommended to prepare the
placenta within 1-3days of giving birth, and should be kept in a refrigerator
or cooler until the process begins*. However, if it’s not possible, the placenta
should be frozen until ready to be processed.
Suggested Dosage: It is recommended to take 2 Capsules 2-3 times per day
for 2-3 weeks. Beyond that time, capsules can be kept in the freezer and
taken for any of the above listed benefits.
Contraindications: While capsules can be taken any time you may feel
fatigued, placenta should not be taken while the body is fighting off an
acute infection such as a breast infection, or common cold. Symptoms with
which you should not take placenta include: fever, body aches, chills, flushed
cheeks, hot palms or soles of feet, night sweating, sneezing, or other flu-like
symptoms. (Like ginseng, placenta is a strong “tonifier”, and may draw these
symptoms deeper into the body making you feel much worse.)

OK..this is me again: First of all just because most mammals eat their placenta doesn't mean that I have to. Seriously, don't we tell our kids that very same thing? "Well, if everyone is misbehaving does that mean you have to?"
Secondly, most mammals lick their butts too. I think I've made my point.

Love the part about how helpful it is for your child's life transitions.

Son, what's the matter? Feeling a little down? Are you bummed that you have to be at school all day? Here, take this little, er, uh, vitamin. No, it's not a chewable. And, um, no it's not strawberry flavored, lucky you, it's TASTELESS. Yes..take this pill so that I can pretend that our fetoplacental connection is still there and I am the answer to all of your problems. It's going to make your day SO much better, I think. You'll get a NICE big dose of estrogen. Now how does that feel? What? You have a headache, cramps, unexplained weight gain and mood swings? Hmm..

Finally, he's had a "breakthrough"...

2009-10-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

I think he's been waiting 6 months for that little guy to come in.

Obsession

2009-09-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

We finally had some chilly weather today and I got the urge to make Turkey and White Bean Chili (a Cooking Light recipe) and also felt the need to put away our "pool" things. Since I have a severe shortage on space at the moment I started cleaning out a closet in hopes of creating a wee bit of room. In the tippy top of the closet I found my fabric basket. The fact that I even have a fabric basket is laughable because, well, I don't even sew! OK.. I once made a quilt with my mom's help. But that's it. I don't sew. I can only explain it this way. I am drawn to fabric prints. I love them. I think it's similar to paper prints for me. I love those too. Check out this gorgeous calendar. I want it to be mine...mine..mine.

That calendar is from my favorite pretty paper source (The Paper Source). They are in Berkeley and I think I feel a road trip coming on soon.

Since I'm a disorganized type and easily distracted I started going through my fabric basket. What can I get rid of? I need to make room.

Of course it doesn't help at all that I found the Sew Mama Sew! blog . She had a whole month of posts dedicated to projects that you can do with Fat Quarters.

I bought these fabrics a few years ago hoping that they would magically turn themselves into a cute skirt for Katie.

And I should be more than a little embarrassed to tell you that I bought these cute red fabrics with the intent of making a little housewarming gift for a girlfriend (she's since moved twice... I bought her a plant instead).

These fabrics WERE actually part of a finished project. They were part of a simple lap quilt that I made for my Grammy a few years ago (when Riley was a baby, I think). I really should get rid of them.

Do you see that I have a bit of a problem?

Never too early

2009-09-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

I've blogged before about my issues with Katie's reluctance to wear hair clippies or headbands. I've decided that I need to start early with Addison.
Evidently Katie feels the same way and she thought she would help me out a little.

I feel the urge to tell you that no baby was harmed during the taking of this picture. The clippies are bound with ribbon and are super soft. You can check them out for yourself right here.

Vermin Visitor

2009-09-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Since the kids missed the excitement of THIS post they were uber excited to wake up on Sunday morning and see this critter.
This little guy actually found himself trapped late Saturday night. Their beady little eyes really gross me out or maybe it's their pale,slithery tail. Ew. Either way I wasn't happy to see him. Trapping him was actually an accident as the Animal Control lady (yes, it's a girl) doesn't work weekends (she doesn't do Mondays either). I actually don't "do" Mondays either.. I just pretend.

Check out his nose: he did his best to slip through the cracks.

Mark got the lovely job and releasing this poor fellow on Sunday afternoon.
I hope your Monday is at least as exciting as this little guy's Monday (new home, new territory to explore....wow, the possibilities must overwhelm him).

Our visitors

2009-09-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

Every night we always expect a few unannounced guests. They don't call or let us know they are coming. They just show up. Every night. Sometimes they are loud and can chatter constantly while we are trying to sleep. We have existed like this for years. We have gotten so used to their visits that I have come to think of them as part of the family......until my neighbor started shooting at them. Mark decided that we should try to be good neighbors and take care of the problem. The problem being the neighborhood opossums and raccoons who make a nightly trek into our yard.
A week ago we borrowed a trap from another good neighbor.
And after a week of having our bait eaten every night (with no animal inside) look what I found this morning:

Doesn't he look friendly? He was panting so hard (from being in the sun, I guess) that I decided to give him some water (but not get within paw's reach).
I trickled in some water, which he drank (it was adorable).
There...do you feel better now?

Yikes. I don't like the look of those fangs. I'm calling Animal Control right away to haul your big patootie out of here.

And not 5 minutes after I called Animal Control....

Houdini made his escape. The kids are going to be bummed they missed him.

I realize that for you country folks this will be a pretty lame post. But for us suburbanites..this is big news (at least it is for my kids).

What have I gotten myself into?

2009-09-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

16

2009-09-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

Today is our 16th wedding anniversary. Last year on our 15th I wrote a fairly lengthy post and you can find it here. Today I just want to simply say that Mark is my best friend and I can't imagine life without him. He's a wonderful daddy and everytime I see him with Addison I fall in love with him all over again. He's so good with the babies!

Happy Anniversary babe! Love you.

Dwell on it.

2009-09-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

I headed out for a walk after dropping the kids off. I knew it was 9-11 today but didn't really dwell on it...until I turned the corner and saw the memorial that our firemen had made. And then I got teary. We all remember where we were.

Pesto, pesto do your very besto....

2009-09-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

I was cruising through Costco with Addison a few weeks ago. It was sample time. I'm an advertiser's dream at sample time. I try it. I like it. And I buy it.I'm always buying things I don't need at Costco,never using it all up and then tossing it when I clean the fridge.
Especially this:

I love pesto. I realize the purists are mocking me right now. Jar pesto is not the same as homemade pesto. I KNOW!! But now that I'm a busy mom of three I am always looking for shortcuts. For instance...why iron that shirt when I can simply toss it back in the dryer with a damp towel for 10 minutes. Anyway..back to the pesto.
It always seems like a good idea to buy a another jar of pesto.
But I KNOW that I'm going to use this jar of pesto this time. Cooking Light magazine happened to have several pesto recipes this month. And that is where I found my new favorite sandwich (Tomato, provolone and arugula on toasted sourdough with pesto mayonnaise).
This time I told myself that this jar is going to be EMPTY when I toss it away.
And so....I made these a couple of times in the past two weeks:

Those are pesto potatoes. The recipe is simple: Chop your potatoes, toss with pesto and sprinkle with salt. Bake on a cookie sheet for 40 minutes (depending on how many potatoes you chop).
My kids LOVED this! Yours will too!

Lyric quiz: I used some artistic license in my title. The real song lyric is: "Presto, presto do your very besto"
10 pts: Name the actress and movie
20 pts: Name the title of the song

Speechless

2009-09-02T06:36:00.000-07:00

Almost a year ago I was shocked to hear this little tale about my husband. And last night I could NOT believe my ears when he told me something else that I did not know about him.
We started swapping high school stories. I was telling Mark about a boy I knew. I used to sit behind him in 11th grade English. The teacher was pretty mean to him because English was just not his best subject. I'm sure it had nothing to do with all the pot smoking that he was doing at the time. Anyway, he was a really nice kid and I tried to help him as much as I could. I "edited" and typed his biggest English paper for him that year. His mother sent me a thank you note.
Anyway, then Mark tells me a story about HIS 11th grade English teacher. In high school Mark was fairly quiet and didn't get into any trouble. Baseball was his life and he did what he had to do in order to play baseball. As far as school was concerned Mark always went to class and did his assignments. He said that he didn't raise his hand that often because there were kids in class (like me) who actually enjoyed discussing literature and, well, he didn't. One day (I'll call her Ms Reed) his teacher called on him to share his perspective on a certain passage of The Grapes of Wrath. Now I need to set the stage here for you. Ms Reed was an extremely large, large woman who wore a very colorful and gigantic muumuu to school everyday. She wore the same one almost everyday. It had large green vines on it.
OK..back to the story: Mark proceeds to share HIS interpretation of the passage.
Ms Reed says "You obviously didn't read the book" and proceeds to ridicule and belittle his OPINION in front of the whole class. Mark politely protested. "I did read the book and you asked me for my opinion". Ms Reed continues to belittle him AND calls him a liar. Mark, usually a very patient guy, got really, really upset and says "Now hold on a minute SWAMP MAMA! I did read the book and stop calling me a liar!"
Needless to say he was sent to the principle's office. It was the early 80's in middle America and they still paddled 11th graders (if they could catch them). Luckily, it was only lunch time detention for him and not a paddling.
But...seriously...SWAMP MAMA? I wish I was in that classroom that day. I would still be laughing.
But if I was the mother of the boy who called his teacher SWAMP MAMA I would just want to find someplace to hide.

Photo op

2009-08-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

Since getting my new camera (Nikon D60) I am always on the prowl at home trying to capture those super cute moments. I don't have a ton of pictures of Riley with Addison since he doesn't usually feel the need to cuddle with her. So when I walked into Katie's room and saw this I tried to capture the moment. I'm always hoping that everyone will cooperate until I get the perfect picture.

Here I was thinking to myself "oh how sweet":

and "this is better"

"oops...we pushed it too far"

Addy's Daddy

2009-08-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

When Riley was born Mark was thrilled to have a son and looked forward to the day when he could coach Riley's baseball team and play golf with him. Then along came Katie and she captured her Daddy's heart in a way that he didn't know was possible. And now we have Addison. I'm betting that Mark didn't know what he was in for....having two daddy's little girls. Two sweet girls that will grow up. Those will be two very long wedding aisles that he has to walk down. I'm glad I don't have to do that part. I couldn't do it.

So tired

2009-08-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of these days? No matter how much sleep you get you are still tired?

I love baby yawns.

BTW, do you think Addison has a hint of red in her hair?

New growth

2009-08-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to accomplish something for the last year or so. I've been trying (every way that I know how) to get Katie to stop biting her nails. I'm sorry to say that she inherited that from me (but I stopped around 7th grade). I've tried the pepper nail polish. I've tried bribery (stop biting them and we'll go have a manicure). I've tried nagging (what was I thinking? that never works).

My aunt told her that if she stopped biting her nails that she would send Katie a special nail polish. Well...that did it. Katie has proudly showed me her nails for the past 3 days and told me that she hasn't bitten her nails at all. Woohoo!!!
Thank you, thank you!

88 + 13

2009-08-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

My grandmother came to town this past week to meet Addison, her 13th great-grandchild.

Isn't my gram beautiful? And that other lovely lady is my aunt who brought my Grammy out here. MFA, Thank you SO much for making this happen.

WhatchyoutalkinaboutWillis?

2009-08-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

I can't help it. This expression of Addison's always cracks me up.
Gosh I love those cheeks. I could just pinch them. But I don't.

Better late than never, but never late is better

2009-08-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm having a bit of a problem. School just started on Monday and I have yet to get the kids to their classrooms on time. This is totally pathetic. The first day of school was the worst. We were having such a great morning and were going to be on time when someone had a huge meltdown (and it wasn't me). We were so late that I didn't even have time for good "first day of school pictures". This was it for pictures.

How can my little girl be in Kindergarten already?

Mi crap es su crap.

2009-08-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we had a big yard sale. I know, I know... I must be crazy. But I actually love going to yard sales and finding some cool things. Oh, you know... things like a fun new tart pan (that I still haven't used) or scoring a cute bed frame that needs a paint job and won't actually see the light of day in a girls bedroom for 5 years. Although I'm currently banned from going to yard sales there was nothing in our marital bylaws about having a yard sale. We encouraged the kids to collect some things to throw in there too. It was a family affair.

Riley had two tables of toys to offer. Whenever someone came down the street he yelled "CUSTOMER" and ran to his tables. We let him set his own prices. The little guy's idea of yard sale pricing was highway robbery. Once he finally learned the art of bargaining he made quite a few sales. He walked away with $22 from the yard sale.

Katie made her own contributions that day:

She wasn't as eager to seal any deals and at the end of the day I think she was secretly relieved that her treasures didn't sell.
Of course we didn't get rid of all of our crap, I mean, stuff.
Anyone need a Batmobile? Or perhaps a bridesmaid dress from ten years ago?
Anyone?

Sunday's child

2009-08-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

Remember this?

Sunday's child is full of grace
Monday's child is full in the face
Tuesday's child is solemn and sad
Wednesday's child is merry and glad
Thursday's child is inclined to thieving
Friday's child is free in giving
And Saturday's child works hard for a living

Here is my Sunday's child. Although I could be wrong...check out those cheeks and chin.

Neighbors do yourself a favor...

2009-08-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

The first Tuesday evening in August was National Neighborhood Watch night out. Our neighborhood was the first one in our town to participate in this annual event. When we bought our house years ago this was one of the ways that we were able to get to know our neighbors. Someone offers up a front yard and we all bring food. At some point during the evening part of our police and fire departments come and everyone discusses things that are important to our community. And believe me, there are a lot of topics that are important to our little street. Here are some of them:

This man would like to know when the city is going to fix the potholes on our street.If anyone can get the city to fix them, he can. He, incidentally, also started our neighborhood watch group in 1995. Just call him Captain.

This little gal would like to know when her dinner is going to be ready.

She would like to know who keeps sneaking over on Thursday nights to fill her recycle bin! I really wouldn't know anything about that... at all.

This gentleman stopped by to say hi. He's running for a city council spot on November.

This is our mayor. I don't know why she was there but we are glad she came.

These guys are the resident BBQ experts and they would like to know exactly how many people from the police and fire departments are coming.

It was a fun night and we had lots of people show up. All the neighborhood kids run around like hoodlums and have a great time. We feel blessed to call many of these people our friends. I love my neighbors. We borrow paprika, sugar and all kinds of things from each other. We take care of each others pets while we are out of town. I know that I can call any number of my neighbors in the middle of the night during an emergency. And I actually have. Riley spent his 2nd birthday at my neighbors home while I delivered Katie. I called another neighbor to come over while Riley and Katie slept so that I could go and deliver Addison.
Oh, and the title of this post are lyrics from a song. Which one? 10 points to anyone who can guess it. 20 points if you can get it without Google.

A night at the movies

2009-08-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

There was popcorn..

and neighbors to hold babies...

and friends with their babies and big kids.

There was a movie on the screen...

And did I mention that there was popcorn? Lots of popcorn.

And there were Red Vines. Lots of Red Vines.

Oh. And there was chocolate.

Friends. Movie. Popcorn. Chocolate.

What a good night! The only thing that would have made this night better was if I could have actually watched the movie and taken more pictures. Alas, Addison had other plans.
But seriously... I love this night. It's the highlight of my summer.

Soccer smile

2009-08-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned yesterday the soccer season has started. Since I posted about Katie yesterday I think I need to make things "even steven" and post about Riley.
I watched his first soccer practice on Monday evening and the boy did not stop smiling the whole time. I probably took about 30 pictures of him and he has a grin in each picture. It didn't matter what he was doing whether he was defending the goal, trying to kick a goal, being knocked down or just falling down (he does that sometimes) he just kept smiling. I think he just loves the action.

Smiling...

Still smiling....

And still smiling.. hopefully the soccer smile will continue for the whole season!

Riley will definitely be smiling all day today as tonight is our annual outdoor movie night. We hosted one last year and I blogged about it here.
So if you are in town tonight..come on over. Bring your chairs and blankets. Rootbeer floats at 7:30pm. Movie starts at 8:15pm or so.We are featuring "The Apple Dumpling Gang" with Don Knotts (1975).